Pain is weird. When it's outside...physical pain...you can take painkillers...you can sit still..not move.

Inside...emotional pain...it doesn't just go away quickly. You can't take painkillers for a certain ache. It hurts all over... :( Only one thing can help: time. And time takes...time.
I hate this...



Today I'm leavin' to go home for a week! I am pretty excited about it. :) I leave straight from work, which is kind of a bitch, just because I had to carry my bags here...through the subway....and the rain. Let's just say my day did not start off well. Left the apartment a little late, it was raining. I was carrying my laptop bag, my lunch, my umbrella, and pulling my two bags - one on top of the other. Three blocks in the rain. Two blocks from my apartment, I realized that I had brought my butter for my bagel - but not the bagel. Then, my week's unlimited MetroCard had run out...so I had to buy a new one - making me miss my train. Then, I struggled to get myself and all of my shit through the turnstile thing to get on the train. The train finally came, and I actually did get to sit down. Then I had to walk the ten minutes to work. That part wasn't a huge problem, except that I was already 5 minutes late, and it takes 10 minutes to walk. Thankfully I had brought a Reese's Cup with me...so that was my (very nutritious) breakfast, along with some (equally nutritious) muffin bites...kinda weird.

Now I'm just working on logo logo logo till 5. Don't think my brain will survive all 5 hours of doing this intense creative thinking...

We'll see! Doesn't matter anyway, Ill be home in 9 hours! (Well, really, the airport, but close enough :) ) Hurrah for vacations!



So WNCW is our public radio station back home. Where we listen to NPR and the World Cafe and Wait Wait Don't Tell Me and and and and etc.

It very much reminds me of home. Recently (today) I realized that I could listen to it through the internet (duh)! So I've been listening to it off and on all day, and this is a conversation I had with Andrew about it:

me: im listening to WNCW online [smile]
it's like I'm home
sitting in my living room on the couch
looking out the window, trying to take a nap
and then dad walks by and tweaks my nose
when he's on his way outside to chop a tree down or something..haha
Sent at 2:48 PM on Tuesday
Andrew: ha
yeah, that's how it is
me: that is!
Sent at 2:53 PM on Tuesday
me: that is exactly what life at my house is like, and i'm not even joking
Sent at 2:54 PM on Tuesday


As much as I love cats, and especially my roommates cat, I am frustrated with them right now. I'm catsitting this week, while my roommate is away. Last night was the first night she was gone - Pacha didn't take it too well. She got lonely. She loves me. This leads to her scratching on my door at 1am trying to get in. I open the door because she WON'T STOP, let her in, try to leave the door open so that she can come in and out, but my other roommate had a friend over, and I couldn't sleep with their noise with the door open. Grr. So I had to keep getting up over and over and over and over again for that stupid cat. I am soooo sleepy right now. Work is not where I want to be. Bed is.

Well, that's enough bitching for now. :) Sorry I haven't been updating! Sarah's here! So, that distracted me for a while. I will try to be better about posting. :) Specially since I enjoy it.



So Andrew's little sister, Lacy, is the CUTEST THING EVER! His mom and I exchange emails and she includes me in her picture sending. She takes the most beautiful photos, especially portraits.


Laugh if you must

I don't care. I'll say it to anyone who asks: I love Nora Roberts. I know she writes a new book like, every week, but I don't care!! I'll read them. I will go to Target and buy the $7 copy they have on sale every other day and I'll love every second of it. There's nothing quite like reading a good, mindless book. It's an added plus if there's a mystery to be solved, a demon to kill, somebody to punish all while finding the one true love who means the world to you. And having killer sex. Yup, pretty much sums up their greatness. To me at least. :)

After dealing with school, and non-stop stress, I deserve to read something mindless. I also deserve to go to sleep at 10:30 during the week, and hell - on the weekends too, if I feel like it. So there.



So this past weekend, my dad and Donna went to get more bees! I must say I was disappointed I couldn't go with them. I do love running around the shop, where they sell all sorts of fun honey/bee related things - like these straws filled with flavored honey syrup or something....I don't remember what exactly it was, except that I liked it. Except the black ones. Yuck. And yes, this was part of my life growing up. I loved/love it. Kinda reminds me of a few summers ago when Harry, Natalie and Dave visited! (I was going to post a picture of Harry in the bee suit, with a beautiful blue flower....but I can't find it)

PS - And yes, my dad does sit like that. Frequently. It IS disturbing, isn't it?


Rice Krispy Treats could totally be used as some sort of super glue. Who would have thought that leaving a delicious morsel wrapped in paper towels would suddenly thwart the poor hungry girl when all she wanted was some sweet sweet marshmallowy love. Pulling back the paper towel, only to leave one ENTIRE layer of paper towel covering the treat. Both sides. :( No marshmallow love for me tonight. Damn, I was totally looking forward to the rest of the night I had planned with the Stay-Puff man.

Weirdest site evah...

So, I was just lookin' at the archives of the lovely Sarah Brown and I found this site:


I am now officially freaked out.


So, a huge oak tree fell down yesterday at home, due to some serious wind. All I could think when I looked at this picture was, 'wow, those roots are bigger than............' And I then spent the next 10 minutes trying to figure out some funny celebrity reference I could make, comparing the size of their roots to these roots. However, I was unable to. :( Maybe you could help me out and unfreeze my brain. I know that somewhere in my brain there is the knowledge of some celebrity with horribly huge roots. Damn. Not a good sign for the rest of the day. Yeah....

Note: That's my Dad up there, for scale.
Why does the morning have to be so early? *grumble grumble*


Random work babbling

The sink at work terrifies me. Everytime I'm in the bathroom, trying to wash my hands, I approach the long, trough-like beast with apprehension. I put the foamy soap (which I like) on my hands and rub them together, trying to do my best to use the least amount of water possible. It doesn't help matters that the sink is motion-activated. So everytime I move, the water comes on and splashes off of my hands onto my beautiful beautiful work pants. Grr. I have yet to come away from that sink completely dry and clean.

It's the little things that bug me, obviously.


The times, they are a'changin'

Sometimes, life is just hard... You have to do things you don't want to do, talk to people you don't want to talk to, figure out things you don't want to figure out. You wish that the times were simpler...when the toughest thing was figuring out what you were going to do that night. But times change. People change. Situations change. And if they matter to you, you have to fight to figure out what to do about it. It's not easy. And it's not fun. But it can definitely be worth it.

This lesson, I realized today, can be shown using the infamous game Frogger as a metaphor. That really is what Frogger is about, I'm sure. Think about it: you're a tiny little frog, trying to make your way to the end, whether that end is across the street or river, or to retirement..through each level the expectations and requirements change. You try to zip your way through the slow moving trucks, only to get smashed on the pavement by the tiny fast cars, causing you to start all over again. Really, a frustrating game if you think about it. Good thing it was only $6.99 - used.


Long Time No See

So, I've decided to try this blogging thing out again. I've been inspired to try this again by reading all of the blogs I check on everyday, and because Wednesday I went to a book signing for my favorite blogger ever: Heather Armstrong of dooce.com. She just put together a compilation of essays about dads. I just finished reading it today, and I really enjoyed it. It made me miss my Dad... it was very interesting to read essays about other people's relationships with their own fathers and their experiences being new fathers themselves. Some essays were heartbreaking, while others were full of joy at being a father or joy with their own fathers.

Actually getting up the guts to actually go to the book signing itself was a huge challenge for me. On the train home from work I was having a constant running commentary with myself. This is pretty much how it went:

inner me 1: Should I really go? I'll just get too nervous!
inner me 2: Are you really going to be a chicken shit, just like you always are, and not go to something you'd really enjoy just because it would be stepping out of your box? Don't tell me you're just going to go home, because it's easy, and sit there and think about what you could have done.
inner me 1: Yeah, but...I really admire her...what if I say something stupid, or don't say anything at all?
inner me 2: You're going to go. That's it. You will actually say funny things and have a personality! It will be fine. You'll feel awesome about it later, when you can say, "look what I did! look who I met! YAYAYAY!"

Inner me 2 won out, thankfully. I trudged uncertainly down into Brooklyn towards what I hoped was the Soda Bar (having forgotten the exact address) armed with only the almost certain knowledge that it was on Vanderbilt..but having no idea what cross street. I did end up making it, and had an incredible time! I felt like I was waiting to meet a celebrity; my hands were sweaty, my mouth was dry. When I actually got up there to meet her, my legs were also shaking. Thankfully, the sweaty hands had pretty much gone away. :) And you know, I was so proud of myself. I actually joked with her, and had an actual conversation! I really feel like that was a huge breakthrough for me. Hurrah!