Yay! Last night I actually got chilly!!!! And slept under my blankets!!! Finally, it looks like the heat has broken....hopefully. :)

My knee looks like a bruised apple. Yum...

Miserable

I am sooo miserable. It is too f'n HOT up here! My tiny little fan is not good enough...94 today and I think a million degrees in my little room. Sleeping is miserable, sitting is miserable, life is miserable. I had an attack of tachycardia today - one that would not go away. The combo of heat, stress and sadness is not good...I think I need to let myself talk about it or slowly let it out as the pressure builds, rather than letting it build up and then randomly explode in a horrible, tear-filled explosion at 4 in the morning. Bleh. I'm going to go lock myself in the freezer now.

Alcohol and sadness rarely mix well

Bleh. I hate feeling like this. Most of the time I'm ok..not great, but ok. Surviving. Trying not to Think. Doesn't work too well, but it gets me through the day. So this past week I made a decision - I'm quiting my internship. I've just decided that it's not an opportunity that I really want. So with that and the events of recent weeks, it's been pretty emotional for me. But damn it, I was going to have fun and drink this weekend. Sarah and I went to see the Sex and the City movie, which I really enjoyed. Obviously you don't go in expecting to see Oscar-winning stuff, but I did enjoy it. I laughed, I cried. Strangely, much of the movie made me sad...I guess the events could sorta relate to my life. Not the whole I'm-forty-and-was-jilted-at-the-altar thing, but loosely related. Anywho, so we do that and then head back home to hang out with friends and drink. It's fun. Pretty much the whole night. Then, suddenly, things start going downhill.....VERY QUICKLY. The boys are taking us home, so that we don't have to walk by ourselves in our current state of inebriation. Harry makes a sudden turn - I was not prepared. Hence, I fall flat on the pavement, in the middle of the road, while a car is coming. I have a very hard time getting up, and my knee is hurting very badly. I start to tear up and get kinda emotional, and then...I couldn't stop crying. For an hour. Thank goodness Sarah stayed with me and comforted me...it was just like Wednesday night alllll over again...except with alcohol and a killer hangover today. :( Time for some diner food.

Sphere

So Sarah and I watched 'Sphere' tonight - an awesome movie, by the way. (Not great in like an award winning way, but fun and kinda creepy and sorta makes you think...but don't think toooo hard about it) Anywho, so there's this very small role - a helicopter pilot - and he has the goggles, and the headphone things so you can't realllly see his face, and his voice is a litttle distorted through the headphone speakers but I was all, "that dude reminds me of the dad/main character in the movie 'Duets'." I got up and found that that 'dude' was none other than Huey Lewis (of Huey Lewis and the News). So I forgot about it and then at the end of the movie, during the credits, I see 'Huey Lewis' as the helicopter pilot. That made my night. That, and the Mike's Hard Cranberry Lemonade bottle - the large one - that said: "Berry. Berry. Big." Remember, small things people.

Weirdness

I hate feeling like this. About everything. Not just the job, but everything. I can hide it most times, at least up here...but it's weird. I sorta feel like it's not real. That it didn't happen. But....part of me knows it did happen and it gets sad. But it feels weird to be so normal up here. :(

Well, I'm back in Brooklyn. Got back last night after a looooong wait for a taxi. Sarah was so sweet and had a huge piece of cheesecake waiting for me. :) It's been hard...being at the beach - far away from home and everything else - was nice though. I think I needed that break. Being back at work is rough...I just don't feel like doing anything. However, having something to do helps me not think....kinda.